Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I’m Sorry

By : Aisyah Razak

10:49 am / Thursday

In office room.

As I’m going through the time, there’s still got a space, were I spent my mind to think about you, about what we have been through together … before. I really missed to hear his thought and his sarcastic word to tease me. And I felt sorry, and I have felt bad about what happened. And he is sorry to be honest for nothing. I felt like incredibly to be someone who can be happier person FOREVER.

I’ve learned from the past, if people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then they are a sorry lot indeed. I won’t be that. No one has the right to be sorry for them for a misfortune that strikes everyone. So that, I prefer move backward and let them, let him, let she gone with their life. I’ll pray the best for them. I wish. Sincerely.

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses yet I keep thinking what I should give words for the reason. No reasonable. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people a lot. That’s why I’ve been hurted. They can say anything they want to. If they don't want to get the news from me, get it from somebody else. I’m not going to be their reporter or whatever. It's not something I'm going to worry about, I'm sorry.

I keep feeling sorry to others; take care of their heart, for a reason, until I realized to myself there's no room in my life for feeling sorry for myself. Hard to received. Among the reasons people keep tells the sad stories to them is that they do not want anyone to feel sorry for them. I don't. I don't want you to feel sorry for me.

I’m a girl, and I’m blush. Sometimes, because I’m alive, half wishing I were dead to save the shame. The sudden blush devours me, neck and brow. I’ve drawn too near the fire of life, like gnats, and flare up bodily, wings and all. What then? Who's sorry for me? Hmmm ….

Lastly, I can just tell them that I'm sorry for what happened, and I think they don’t understand that. And I hope, do not feel sorry for me if I am gone.